and I quote

march 2014

click for permalink March 2, 2014

Well, I guess I took two months "off" there, but for some reason it didn't feel like time off... Anyway, here are some random thoughts on the 2014 Oscars...

Okay, I'm finally ready to admit that Angelina might have a serious eating disorder... An admission made all the more difficult for me because of the considerable time I've devoted to defending her, going all the way back to the 2001 Oscars, and of course because of everything she's been through this past year. Seriously, though, when you're co-presenting with an octogenarian and the audience can't tell who's leaning on whom for support, you might have a problem.

[All photos from]

Second, I love it... with a $250 total hair and makeup budget for "The Dallas Buyer's Club," these girls earned the shit out of their award!

Taking the Jennifer Lawrence backstage "f-bomb" of the night award, our generation's Kate Hepburn, the impeccable Cate Blanchett...

John Travolta's hair. I'm not exactly in a position to throw stones here, but... auburn?

I know the Oscars are the time of the year when we all get to wonder aloud, in unison, "holy shit, what happened to him/her" but this year we had an entire category of "alarming reminders of the aging process," lead by Kim Novak, who I for one was surprised to learn is still alive. Honestly, don't you think at some point that simply growing old has to be preferable to the horrors of extreme plastic surgery?

Was it just me and everyone in the room I was in, or was Matthew McConaughey's acceptance speech one of the longest, weirdest things ever to take place on the Oscars stage or what? His wife, though? Holy hot-o-rama. Wow.

Best Documentary category? Holy shit, the Academy deftly dodges any political stance whatsoever, ignoring three important docs for the only self-congratulatory, fame-friendly pick of the bunch... Shame on the Academy but well done, Darlene Love, for stealing the awkward moment, taking over the mike and getting the first standing "O" of the night, despite the fact that the win was kind of a complete travesty.

Kate Hudson is a goddess and her dress was an obvious tribute to the shut-out (though probably deservedly so) American Hustle. As someone at Slate put it, showing lots of "side-under boob."

It's the new, um... boob.

"American Hustle" was one of the two nominated films I actually saw this year (aside from the docs, of course) but it hardly seemed to make a significant statement compared to the AIDS and slavery-flavored offerings this year. (Although "Gravity" — the other of the two — didn't need to be heavy to win accolades and awards aplenty — no pun intended.)

Best dressed? Lupita Nyong'o, obviously, no contest. Although I will (always, given the option) go with Simon Doonan on this one and call out Charlize Theron, as she can do no wrong awards season-wise.

Although Pink was pretty fucking fierce as well. You go, Ms. Virgo!

And to top it off, we actually dressed up and watched the show in public with a crowd of people this year (well, the second half of the show anyway!)... so yay, us! And yay, the Vancouver International Film Festival which sponsored the event. And best live-blogging goes to The Guardian, for gems like this: "Fierce... Well it would be if it weren't on Anne Hathaway." And:

Fresh from her insensible, alcohol-fuelled tumble on the sodden carpet, Jennifer Lawrence finds herself cornered by one of those pesky TV hostesses. "Who are you wearing?" demands the TV hostess and Jennifer Lawrence replies that she is wearing Dior.

Just to be clear: Jennifer Lawrence is not literally wearing Christian Dior. What Lawrence means is that she is wearing a dress (red, pretty) which was devised by designers at the Dior fashion house. So relax; it's OK. Jennifer Lawrence has not rocked up to the Oscars like some demented backwoods Buffalo Bill, with the rotting skin and pelt of Christian Dior plastered to her naked limbs. Possibly with her teeth filed down to points, just to complete the image. That would be repellent.

But we digress. She is wearing a dress.