On the Hazards of Prediction and Turning in Early

Posted on
February 28, 2017

Some of my favorite Oscar night outfits, from left to right, worn by: Cynthia Erivo, Karlie Kloss, Leslie Mann, Teresa Palmer and Dev & Anita Patel.

If the last six months have taught us anything, it's never bet on a sure thing… Or go to bed early just because you think you know how it's going to end. Unable to find any Oscar parties to attend at the last minute this year, we kicked it old school and spent the first 45 minutes scouring the Internet for a live stream, swearing and cursing the search engine gods until finally finding one that played without a glitch until the very end of the show... Everything was going smoothly until the final award of the night—and you think you know what I'm going to say, but no! See that's the whole point...

As soon as the producers of La La Land took the stage and began their speeches, our live feed suddenly cut out (I assume whoever was hosting it figured they'd seen enough and headed off to bed). I haven't even seen La La Land, so I didn't bother searching for another live stream. Mr. Pink went out to pick up dinner and when he got home, I was checking emails and the TV screen was black. "So you don't even know what happened?" he asked.

That'll get your attention, huh? It's almost as good as "omg, turn on the TV!" No, what do you mean? "At the Oscars," he said. "Something else happened... something pretty big." Just for fun he had me throw out a few terrible guesses before I looked it up (Did Aliens land? Terrorists? Did La La Land abdicate its Oscar to Moonlight?). Of course, when he told me what happened, it sounded insane. Almost as insane as electing Carrot Top for President. (I wonder if 538.com sent the Las Vegas odds makers a card the next day saying, welcome to the club?)

Anyway, there were a lot of great dresses this year. Although I haven't seen it yet, Hidden Figures is at the top of my list. When the cast took the stage along with real-life NASA number-cruncher ‎Katherine Johnson, I may have even done a little black power/girl power salute from my couch. So awesome to see Viola Davis win an Oscar on her third nomination. I've been waiting for this ever since she stole Doubt right out from under Meryl Streep and Philip Seymour Hoffman. Oh yes, Ms. Davis can name that tune in one scene. [mic drop]

She's also one of the very few who can pull off a red dress—it's not an easy look, as evidenced by others, who looked like they stepped off the cover of a Gothic horror novel.

It was also a big night for see-through dresses. I'm not a big fan of Halle Berry as an actress but damn, as a clothes hanger, she's flawless—and that's no faint praise (please see above). Salma Hayek always looks stunning at award shows, so much so that I didn't even notice what category she was presenting because I was totally staring at her chest like a 12-year-old boy.

Pictured above: Halle Berry, Salma Hayek, Jonelle Monae, Hailee Steinfeld, Scarlett Johansen.

Tags: oscars, fashion